One of the daily challenges with multiple sclerosis is that people don’t understand what we’re going through on a daily basis. They don’t understand the unpredictability of the disease. They don’t understand why we can be fine one day and unable to work the next.
That’s been a nagging thought in my head as I’ve followed the news of the Jovan Belcher tragedy. The Kansas City Chief killed his girlfriend and then went to the practice facility and killed himself in front of his coach, his GM, and another coach. The Chiefs are scheduled to play the Carolina Panthers today. As a Panthers fan, I normally would be pleased about watching my team playing against a team even worse than they are. Of all people who should have a day off, I would put Chiefs coach Romeo Crennel at the top of my list. But no, he is expected to work the day after witnessing a suicide of someone he cared about at the place where the suicide occurred. Belcher’s teammates are expected to play the day after their colleague died at the place where the death occurred.
As a person with MS, I’ve dealt with insensitive behavior on many occasions. I’ve told people that I’m fatigued, and they think that I just need to go to bed earlier at night. When my knee locks up because of spasticity, I’m told to just focus on bending my knee and concentrate on walking better. There are times that the callousness of others – whether intentional or not – makes my stomach turn.
This is one of those times. The Chiefs-Panthers game is definitely not business as usual, yet it’s being treated that way. I can understand the conflicted emotions of the Chiefs. There are players and staff who want things to be normal, who want to move forward and not spend time dwelling on the tragedy. Then there are those that are mourning, upset, angry, and wanting to be anywhere but there. It reminds me of the different reactions people have when they are diagnosed with MS. There are different stages of grief, and people handle grief differently.
I just wish the NFL was handling the situation differently and realizing this is not the time for business as usual.