This week is officially MS Awareness Week. There’s been a little voice inside of me saying, “You should be blogging every day during MS Awareness Week. You need to do your part to educate and advocate.”
Then real life gets in the way. I don’t sit down and reflect on MS because I’m too busy doing things that MS doesn’t prevent me from doing. In a way, I’m acknowledging MS this week by focusing on me as a person, not me as a disease. MS is a part of me, but it is not me.
A dear woman told me today about someone who has been singing my praises. I had spoken to this other woman a few weeks ago and related some of my own struggles with day to day life and trying to find a job. I also told her about a moment when I found out I didn’t get a job I really wanted. I thought I would be devastated, but the first thought that came into my mind was that job was not part of the plan for me. Instead of feeling horrible about not getting the job, I was at peace. I explained to this woman that while I may not know exactly how the plan works, and I find the timetable frustrating, I am confident there is a plan for me. Today I related this story to the woman who complimented me and told her that knowing there is a plan keeps me sane. It may not be my plan, and it may not happen when I want it to, but there is a plan.
I think about MS that way. It was definitely not part of my plan to be diagnosed with MS. I would not have chosen the timing of my exacerbations. I would not have chosen to inject myself regularly with medicine or take so many pills that I call myself the Human Pharmacy. But that’s not the end of the plan. There’s still so much more I need to do. Sure, it would be easier if I didn’t have this disease, but I don’t get to just live out the nice parts of the plan. I have to take the sour with the sweet.
I guess that’s my takeaway from MS Awareness Week – MS is part of the plan, but it’s not the whole plan.