It’s fall, and I got to enjoy lunch outside on an absolutely perfect day. Instead of a stereotypical work lunch, I got to chill out, enjoy some pizza, and watch a cornhole tournament. Sometimes things aren’t what they seem, and that’s a good thing.
With MS, I deal with stereotypes on a daily basis. Since I walk with a cane, I deal with both positive and negative stereotypes. On the positive side, people assume that I would appreciate assistance. On the negative side, people assume that I am incapable. But I’ve been dealing with the stereotypes for awhile, and I can handle it…most of the time.
One of the biggest stereotypes I face with MS is that of caregiver. My husband isat the my chief caregiver, and he’s quite amazing at it. But when I think of a caregiver, I don’t think he fits the mold. that’s the thing about him – he doesn’t fit molds. He’s an opera singer, which has its own stereotypes. Last week, we watched Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and some assumed that he watched it because I made him do it. I laughed about how he had been as enthusiastic about it as I was. After all, he enjoys watching shows where things blow up, or shows with vampires, or shows with zombies…or shows where vampires and zombies blow things up. He’s also the guy who taught at a women’s college and would give his students advice about what to wear to their recitals…after I explained to him what an empire waist was. But folks still seem to be surprised that he enjoys power tools and a nice cold beer. As Brad Paisley said, at the end of the day, well what can I say, honey, I’m still a guy.
What is a stereotypical caregiver? I don’t know. I just know I’ve got an awesome one who doesn’t fit any mold except his own.
Happy fall!! Take care too….hugs, Sandy
Hi, I am 34 now, but when I was 26 I had a stroke; a big nasty CVA that left my left side useless. Stereotypes abound for somebody that age who has a stroke. “Well, she must have been doing drugs” or “Were you really overweight?”. I still walk with a cane and I hate that look I get when I’m in Wal-Mart riding in the electronic scooter and the only indication I need it is the cane hanging out of the basket. After the stroke I couldn’t get out and exercise so I put on weight and I’ve seen the people go by and wonder why a perfectly healthy, just fat, person is using some poor little old lady’s scooter. My husband helped dress me, wiped my butt and put meds together. He raised all three kids while I was in in-patient rehab for 2 months. He was the reason I got through it. I am so happy for you that you have someone in your life who will stick up for you and love you. I also have a best friend with MS (we met in the in-patient rehab facility). She had to learn to walk again and so did I. We all deal with the stereotypes. Just know you aren’t alone.